My daughter has been staying with us for a week and as a committed feminist has used her time somewhat mischievously to wind-up her brother. As an alpha male who is five years her junior he hasn’t accrued the wisdom yet to know that winning an argument is not the “be all and end all” in life. In fact it’s an argument that doesn’t find any middle ground given they are both coming at the issue from diametrically opposed positions. Seldom have I heard the words misogynist and misanthropist used so often in discussion/argument.  Life, and therefore the workplace, also contain persons for whom there are widely different perspectives. Gender politics is at play each and every day and is probably getting more heated.

Airing different perspectives and being open to hearing another’s viewpoint is important in a mature and welcoming workplace. The same applies in friendships, communities and families. There can be a fine line between tolerance for the sake of maintaining the status quo or keeping the tone light and calling out every issue you disagree with. This may come down to losing a friendship if you call someone out for a view you find that doesn’t accord with your own. It might be the “I’m not a racist” racist remark, the “I’m not homophobic” homophobic remark,  the”I’m not sexist” sexist remark, or the “I’m not Islamaphobic” islamaphobic remark. Tolerance of such statements can be tacit consent and soft encouragement. Calling it out possibly risks straining and ending a relationship whereas staying connected offers the opportunity, by example, to change behaviours; admittedly over a longer period of time. Seeing the perspective of the other party, regardless of avoiding appeasement, is an essential ingredient to being mindful and having a robust EQ.

We were given some free movie tickets lately and chose to see Wonder Woman. Sensing that a scantily clad superhero might provoke a response e.g. objectification of women, stereotyping etc.I thought I would do some homework. It did strike me that Wonder Woman as a character sits in elevated company with Superman and Batman etc but would be quite lonely if she wanted to swap stories about gender equality. There aren’t any other top-tier female superheros from the Marvel or DC Comics stable. Imagine my surprise though to find that the feminist credentials behind Wonder Woman are actually quite substantial.

The comics were written by a reasonably famous American psychologist, William Marston, using the nom-de-plume Charles Moulton, who, coincidentally invented the lie detector. Might explain Wonder Woman’s truth lasso! His inspiration for the character was Margaret Sanger a pioneering feminist and acknowledged founder of the modern birth control movement. Sanger just happened to be the aunt of Marston’s parnter in a rather bohemian polyamorist relationship. He had the opportunity to observe her close up. It’s not quite that simple though because Marston also had an interest in BDSM and ‘pinup girls’ which might explain why Wonder Woman is dressed like she’s on the way to a Fetlife convention inspired by a Vargas centre-fold. Life is appears is much more complex than binary polarised viewpoints.

As it happens Wonder Woman is an easy watch. Armed with the knowledge I had gained from hearing a podcast featuring Jill Lepore who has written the seminal work The Secret History of Wonder Woman I found it layered in ways that your traditional DC or Marvel fare isn’t. Most super heroes have a vulnerability e.g Superman and kryptonite. For Wonder Woman it is chains. Chained she is helpless so the comics and the movie see her bound and totally helpless. Each time she breaks free she is emancipating – the chains being a metaphor for breaking free from society’s constraints. Each time she is bound Marston gets to explore his fetish.

The reversal of roles in the comics and the movie are plain to see. The damsel in distress is none other than Chris Pine (aka Captain Kirk) and he must die and not her. It’s him that calls at her door at night and not vice versa. She saves the day single-handed. The men well are just a bit like wallpaper in the background. Their parts are not fleshed out to any degree, kind of like many female roles in male-oriented movies. Director Patty Jenkins is having a field day turning gender stereotypes on their head except maybe the key one and where women today are still complaining – equal pay.

Gal Gadot playing Wonder Woman received a reportedly pitiful $300,000 for the part. Even if this is explained away by producers saying that’s what all leads get on their first franchise offering, you would have thought someone had the presence of mind to flip things on the head for this movie. After all this is wonder woman. We all know Wonder Women in our personal lives, communities and workplaces. My daughter is a wonder woman and will do great things. Unfortunately she will encounter men in her career who will hold her back or pigeon hole her not allowing her to grow. Fortunately there will be those who will see her potential and allow her to shine. At the end of the day no-one’s flame glows brighter by extinguishing another’s. The same might be said for snuffing out someone else’s argument. If we are to get on, we all need to realise that the world, like Marston’s life, is full of complexity, contradiction and compromise.